Stars
Ajahn Brahm#
2001#
2001 (1/10): The Middle Way#
Being kind to yourself - not illwill to yourself.
Right view - if a mistake is made that is the correct way of the world. Acknowledge, forgive, learn and let go of it. Maintain the mind on the present moment and let go of the past. wrong view of the world - you must feel guilty. You must suffer. Go to your room, can’t watch the tv…suffer.
The body is suffering - no matter what you do or what product you acquire - the nature of the body is to hurt and be uncomfotabel. To overcome this suffering - give it up and don’t be concerned with it. Sit down and forget about it - leave the body via the breath and meditation.
Whatever is precious to you in this world? You can’t have it. That is the dhamma.
Wanting things of the world…ephemeral, unsubstaintial. Promise happiness but give suffering. Everything: wife, husband, child, parent, home, care, bank balance and fame.
Throw things out. Empty the mind. Not accumulate.
Cultivate the throwing out. Relinquishing. Incline to it.
2001 (2/10): Anattaniga Not Mine#
When a label of “not mine” is put on all thoughts…they lose value and importance. Letting go then happens.
You cannot cannot “do” letting go. One must just let it happen via a proper perspective on the truth. Trying to control from the illusion of self - will never work.
Thoughts come in uninvited and dissapear without permission. Impermanent - subject to cessation.
When thoughts arise just say “Not mine” - a good technique. Fading away of thinking.
The body - not mine. A good technique for the meditation path.
Like watching a sunset - you don’t try and make it move more to the right or left or go down faster or slower. It cannot be controlled. Do the same with ones thoughts. Merely watch.
2001 (3/10): Patience Khanti#
Patience goes in the opposite direction of the doer. Do nothing. Know it is impermanent.
2001 (4/10): True Hermits#
Thinking is a waste of time
Obstacles in meditation are good - you are digging a hole to escape and you have come across some huge rocks.
The thoughts are not mine and are not important.
Live as a hermit - in seclusion from people and thoughts. Letting go of thoughts. Silence.
Getting involved in the world - stops the purity of the mind.
2001 (5/10): Obstacles#
We’ll always come across difficulties and obstacles - this is par for the course.
Overly concerned of:
- the body
- the five senses
- thinking (thoughts)
Test the body - go without for a while
Dispassion - fading away. They disappear.
Concern dissipates, one is no longer concerned with:
- buildings
- where you are - travel
- other people
That is just the world. No need to have a fault finding mind.
It is nature not to be right, for things to be imperfect. So it is a never ending process if one fault finds.
What do you expect? Of course there are faults.
In kammaloka - the world of the 5 senses - there is faults, impermanence. One can abandon those thoughts.
When you “No longer give a damn”. Fed up. Nibbida.
Meditation becomes easy.
The wordly impermanace no longer affects, disturbs and shakes you up.
2001 (6/10): The 5 Hindrances#
Structure of retreat is that the beginning part is focused on one thing - the development of samadhi.
solitude - helps to maintain the precepts. The more people meet, talk and associate - more opportunity and arouses defilements of mind.
Purpose of samadhi is to overcome the 5 hindrances. Give insight the data to work on. One should not rush ahead and speculate with ideas - before experiencing jhanas.
One cannot trust oneself when the hindrances are present. Everyone thinks they are right.
They hinder the passage into jhanas.
If there is a blockage in meditation - it is one of the hindrances or combination.
- Sensory desire (kāmacchanda): a type of wanting that seeks for happiness through the five senses of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching. Giving ones consent, approval and giving in to the desire. Fix is Nibbida - turning away, revulsion , disinterest. The bone smeared with blood - a moment of taste but no meat.People don’t do this on purpose - no need for illwill…it is the nature of the world. Nibbida to praise and blame - to sound.
- Ill-will (vyapada): all kinds of thought related to wanting to reject, feelings of hostility, resentment, hatred and bitterness. What does ill-will do for you? someone else upsets you or does something you don’t approve of. Why let them spoil your day. Trying for revenge, planning ways to upset or put them down. Trying to give someone a bad day - confrontation. Karma will sort everything out - you need not have ill-will toward them. Overcome ill-will with loving kindness. Letting go - being contentment. No fault finding. if loving-kindness does not work try contentment. Allow the mind to wander - be content with it wandering. Take away the force keeping the mind moving.
- Sloth-torpor (thina-middha): heaviness of body and dullness of mind which drag one down into disabling inertia and thick depression. Negativity…trying to escape through sleep. Energy arises in the mind if it enjoys meditating. Don’t look at the clocks - look at sloth and torpor. Bring the enjoyment - nimitta, chant if you enjoy, if you enjoy walking - walk.
- Restlessness-worry/remorse (uddhacca-kukkucca): the inability to calm the mind. Antidote is contentment. Stopping finding fault. Forgiveness, let it go, everyone makes mistakes the world is not perfect. Par for the course.
- Doubt (vicikicchā): lack of conviction or trust. Antidote - is to stop thinking so much.
2001 (7/10): Anicca#
The impermanence or uncertainty of things.
Subject to disappearance. Not dependable. Not constant. Unreliable. There is no security.
The glass is already broken. Not attached. Its gone and finished.
- rupa - body/form/all material things - health and possessions…natural will take these things from you. Both what you hate and delight in. Money, children, health.
2001 (8/10): Dukkha#
Anicca, Dukkha and Anatta Impermanence, Suffering (unstsifactory) and Non-self - nothing to do with us. It permeates every object, khanda, perception, everything one can perceive.
If that is seen, nibbida will come up - a turning away.
The stickiness is that there is something permanent - something mine.
Take away the glue sticking one to samsara.
3 ways of explaining dukkha:
- dukkha-dukka - ordinary dukkha, not getting what you want, physical pain, impingements on senses
- one thinks if one plans out, takes medicines etc there can be control
- some decide to have pleasure while still young: seeing movies, watching tv, having sex, having relationship, going to mountains and waterfalls…a small pleasure that is mostly suffering
- chasing girls is so much suffering…get one - then she leaves you or you don’t like here and suffering restarts
- people get a taste for the craving, the hope, the planning, the expectation
- wiparinama dukkha - change. Hopelessness of finding happiness in this world.
- we want perfect
- truth is imperfection
- it is not up to you - out of your control
- trying to fix problems in this world - is hopeless
- Sankhara dukkha
Impermanence
- Everyone will not agree with you
-
Not everyone will like you
-
Someone tells you off - they don’t like you - welcome to the world
- they praise you - welcome to the world
- you are a parrai - strange - welcome to the world
- you are greatly respected give talk to 3000 people - welcome to the world
- fame
- wealth
They come and go. This world is unsatisfying. No matter your position.
Junior has junior suffering. Middle has middle suffering. Senior has senior suffering.
Whereever you are in this world. A lay person - lay person dukkha. Working - working man dukkha. Poor - poor mans dukkha. Rick - rick mans dukkha.
Is the way out really just changing to the other suffering. Changing cells in a prison. Changing the different torturer.
There is a way out…
Pleasure is relative. Everything from the sense. If a bit better - it is brilliant. Slightly worse - terrible. Through the senses - kamma loka - impossible to get permanent happiness. That change is out of your control.
Ajahn Liam…
Find out what you want? Then find the source of the suffering.
Eating chillies trying to find the sweet one
It is unattainable - happieness in this 5 sense world - in this life or any other life.
Letting go of the 5 sense world
Nibbida - to flowers, sunsets…revulsion
Wanting out
Consciousnesness is dukkha. No consciousness means no dukkha arising. Cessastion of consciousness.
An arahat experiences dukkha - consciousness causes dukkha - they are still conscious.
THere is nothing worth craving. All in this 5 sense world is dukka. Mind turns away from hope of finding happiness in this world. Turning away - nibbida. Interest in the world disappears.
Nothing to seek.
2001 (9/10): Anatta#
Ajahn Chah asking Brahmavamso: Tamai? Why?
The right answer: Mi ni arai - there is nothing.
Emptiness. Anatta.
The quandary: Who am I? - carries an implication - that you are something and you need to find out.
What do I take myself to be?
Taking things to be me, mine, a self - they inevitably cause a lot of suffering and strife.
this body? Take away ownership - this body belongs to nature this mind? Take ourselves to be clever, skillful, knowledgable, expert. Taking achievements to be self - pride. DEtach from praise and blame - by detatching from this mind.
WHen you do something wrong - one will feel there is a problem. But doing things wrong has nothing to do with you.
Any fear - is when the self is challenged. Reputation - an illusion of what you take yourself to be. Take away the self - no fear, no guilt, no remorse. Nothing to do with you.
It is all causes coming together and effect.
Create causes. It is never I did it right or do it wrong. Nothing to do with you. When you dissapear. Be skilled in creating the causes.
Nothing to control, nothing to protect. No responsibility. No doer. No control freak.
We take thought to be ours. Owned. Something that can be controlled.
thinking…nothing to do with you
not mine
desires - not mine
Cherish - no thoughts. when you are thinking - you cant learn anything. wisdom arises in silence.
the will - the doer - is not me, not mine.
striving yo achieve, to maintain, to have to hold
doing is suffering
thinking, rationalising, comparing…is suffering. the experience is needed in jhamas. will is conditioned you have no choice
the knower - mind - consciousness is not a thing. It is like sand or water - as you get closer you see they are particles/molecules and with emptiness in between.
Attachment to knowing and being will be cut off.
The only way to know - is to get out of the 5 sense world tangled with the 6th sense.
What has been taken as a self - is really an empty process - cause and effect.
2001 (10/10): Avijja - delusion#
Seeing things clearly. That not going around craving for things - once people won’t put there hand is a fire if they know it hurts. The 5 hinderances keep delusion going.
The reason for the eightfold path is to overcome the hindrances - temporarily and then permanently.
- interest in the world of 5 senses, sensory desire
- ill will
- sloth, torpor
- restlessness, remorse
- doubt
One cannot depend on learnings when the 5 hindrances are still around. The hindrances must be abandoned again and again.
whatever they see, her and think - people think it is true
Your views and perceptions - are trusted but they are really not reliable.
Only know that 5 hindrances are gone after seeing jhanas and coming out. Then check insights against the buddha’s teachings.
We only perceive what we want to perceive not what we don’t want.
Likes and dislikes and fixed views - prevent from seeing things as the truly are.
Looking at someone and thinking that is a beautiful girl. That is a perception. Lust gives you something to do, a sense of being someone. Takes you away from the underlying suffering of existence. You want to…perception bent. Do not trust that.
The 5 khandas…are impermanent and not self. Rise and fall. They are suffering.
No one wants to see that truth.
Wanting to be. Wanting the mind and body to go on forever. Happiness is just the gap between suffering. It is conditioned by the suffering that went before it.
When terrible suffering ends - that is happiness. When you lose happiness that was great - that is suffering. It will experience both - not both. It cannot even experience in between.
A craving to be.
Denial of suffering.
Courage is bourne out of being in deep samadhi. Why want - when you can see things as they are. There is nothing worth wanting.
WHy perceive it in a particular way…
The will is conditioned. You are not in change. We don’t want to give up the sense of being, self.
2004: Rains Retreat#
2004 Rains Retreat (1/11):Right Chanda#
The more one meditates - the more easily one can enter the blissful states
Turn away from the old habits - going towards, discussing and associating.
The buddha says: “Those who delight in talking with others - will never find samadhi”
When you return to your hut - one does not have the echoes of teh conversations.
Desire to restrain, be separated from the world. Aloof.
Even the most important matters - become silly when one knows samadhi. Things come things go, money comes money goes, people live and people die. Whats the big deal? When one gets samadhi - stillness - that is important.
Become skilled in being present.
Renounce the world. What is that world? All the things you think about - past, future, food, sex, family, possessions - coming and going.
Worrying about the future and past - is collecting chicken shit instead of the eggs. How much craving can exist in the present moment? Very little - the hinderances are cut off at the root - in the present moment.
Mindfulness can only exist in the present moment.
Fear is the self being challenged.
Kill this self - allow this self to cease. All its doing, complaining, praising, blaming, wanting, not wanting, coming, going, measuring, saying good enough or bad enough. That is the nagging of the self.
Heed the moment - let go of everything else. When you do that - things aren’t that hard.
The breath is the best. Delight in the joys - the process. The body and senses disappear.
2004 Rains Retreat (2/11): Passion in Meditation#
If this breath is really important - the mind easily watches. The mind stays with things it thinks (chooses) as important.
Aches and pains, thoughts, plans and memories only affect you as they are given more importance.
Give importance and value to the stages of meditation. Value it as it is.
Are you giving importance to the silence, to the breath?
Every step on walking meditation is vital - like on a tightrope way above.
Most of the life is sacrificed - as the current moment is not given importance. Never think - I’ll get this out of the way then can do the next thing.
Into the moment - not into achieving.
2004 Rains Retreat (3/11): Tricks of the Trade - The Path into Samadhi#
Focus on one thing and disappear. This is the path.
Start with the foundations. The fundamentals. Let go stage by stage.
Grasp onto the happiness of meditation in the beginning - but at the nimitta stage one must let go.
Be a friend to your mind - independent - not part of a self.
Give clear instructions to the mind - then let it go.
Tell the mind to create the causes - to be at peace, grow at peace, abandon , be content (this is good enough)
Program your mind at the start of meditation - to be wary of a specific hinderance. Beware excitement. Or beware sloth and torpor.
Not only in meditation but in all things. Eg. “Next time that person is seen - i will be quiet.”
Loving kindness with the meditation object is powerful
restlessness comes from discontent. This is good enough.
Recognise what you are holding on to - then let it go. Like a hot coal.
2004 Rains Retreat (4/11): I know you Mara#
Anattalakanna sutta
body, pleasure and pain, perceptions, will and consciousness is out of your control
The khandas
If they were part of self - one could control them - direct them how to be
Go in the opposite direction - let go and be patient
Be peaceful and stop the mind moving
stop hurrying through rebirths
vanishing - there is no one in here - it is just a process
Involving - instead of leaving in alone - things become agitated
Renounce. Disengage. Abandon.
2004 Rains Retreat (5/11): Have you come here to die#
Ajahn Chah would ask “Have you come here to die?”
Idea of dying is profound and useful
If your meditation is not going well - imagine yourself dying
When a person dies they have to abandon and renounce
Willingly give up all the things - that do not belong to us - not a self.
What does it really matter - all the things that occupy ones mind - when you die.
No one is going to remember you. Fade away forever. Die to the past, future and idea of self.
All your plans get torn up.
Your last breath - breath meditation becomes easy
The senses are controlling you.
There is always one more task - you die unfulfilled. unfinished.
Fear means something you cherish is going to be taken away
practice dying
Stay with the nimitta long enough you enter jhana states
knower of worlds: kammaloka (sense world), ruepaloka (jhana realms) and arupaloke (immaterial attainments)
Try dying - imagine being dead - the underyling theme. This is not mine.
2004 Rains Retreat (6/11): The seven factors of Enlightenment#
If the results lead to peace, calm and stillness you have let go.
If results lead to problems, intense negative emotions you have been doing and attaching not letting go.
Keep the dhamma in mind. The 5 senses are out of control - sometimes things taste good and sometimes bad. Taste is just taste though. Same with feeling - sometimes happy and sometimes sad - out of your control.
Invetigate the dhamma. Wisdom power. Do you have any problems? Let go of will and investigate the cause.
Get the message. The core teachings. No need to read abhidhamma or all the suttas.
This is not the path of pain. It is a happy path and joyful path. A middle way.
When the mind disengages from the body. The body dissapears. Sounds just sounds. Feelings just feelings.
If ripples on a lake are to subside - you don’t put your hands in
See how many things can fade away. The less things you have the more freedom.
See in terms of the dhamma not in terms of the world. See in forgiveness not in punishing. See in terms of letting go not accumulating. See in terms of selflessness not in conceit (I am better, I am worse, I am the same)
You don’t get down and don’t get proud
A process of cause and effect.
2004 Rains Retreat (7/11): This is the Path **#
Samadhi. The more you try the less the chance of attaining.
The only thing you - the person - can achieve is suffering. Get out the way. Remove the you.
The will. The illusion of self. The hinderance of a you that wants to achieve something. Me in control.
Jhanas happen when the self dissapears. The self (a me) is the reason for the thoughts. Abandon and lessen that self.
Don’t disturb the peace and bliss by giving it a name
Forget time - time is a contruct of the doer
Be gentle and calm the mind down. Do not guide it strongly - just set a thing to do and let it go.
2004 Rains Retreat (8/11): No Insight without Samadhi#
Wisdom arises as a result of samadhi
Trying to get insight without samadhi - by thinking and contemplating
- not enough data - senses, consciousness
- thinking in the same deluded ways, perceptions, views - a viscious cycle
Abandon the 5 hinderances - see things in the ways they have not been seen before
Seeing things as they truly are arises as a result of calming and stilling of the mind (samadhi)
One does not do meditation or samadhi - it is about getting the causes right for the effect to arise. That is abandoning and letting go of the doer.
Thinking and using the brain, studying - all that thinking and studying…where does it lead? It does not lead anywhere. Not worth anything compared to calm. Where compassion, joy and freedom comes from.
The mind recognises calmness as the jewel of liberation.
People search for happiness in the 5 sense world - makes you run away from things you don’t like, makes you argue and makes you upset.
To many people sex is the highest happiness in the world. “Meditation is better than sex”. Challanging that.
Let go. He beat me, insulted me, wronged me…the past and the self. Let go of the whole lot.
When the ball of letting go starts rolling - it can’t be stopped. The cause has been created.
The measure of insight - the ability to be peaceful.
There is a lingering obstacle - just before getting a jhana the mind starts thinking - and giving one a dhamma talk. That should be abandoned. Get the samadhi and jhana first.
2004 Rains Retreat (9/11): The Knower and the Known#
Independent from the things that rise and fall…
Seasons, moods, states of mind, sickness of body
Stillness and ability to let go
Why do things that happen in the world - affect the mind…allowing the world to control your happiness?
Don’t give them importance…the thoughts arising
Idea of control - comes mainly from fear. In meditation if you don’t give up control you get hurt. You give up fear…willing to give up.
When a beautiful breath or nimitta comes up - you take your feet off the pedals and hands off the steering wheel. If it happens or not - doesn;t matter. Let go of the search.
Suttas say: Its too hot, too cold, too early and too late…people like that won’t get into deep meditation
Let go of this body
Meditation experience: Amazing amount of impermanence, insight - things are fading so quickly…things falling away - the whole world disintegrating every moment. Sometimes when hinderances are not overcome - prejhana - fear comes up and one cannot continue. After jhana one is blissed out and still.
Lessen the 5 hinderances
2004 Rains Retreat (10/11): Anatta is the Key#
Crucial realisation of non-self - streamwinner.
When the mind has an illusion of self - it picks up things. Upadana - taking up.
a sound or song, food you like, girls to look at, memories to caress, fantasies that obsess the mind - why can we not let go?
Cut off the illusion of the self - in the mind
illusion of something “eternal” - an eternal self…an eternal perception, consciousness, feeling, pleasure…
No there is impermanence - no eternal. It is a comforting dillusion - but unhelpful on the path.
The mind tricks itself into knowing - one thinks they know non-self. But there are blindspots - missing when one is attached to a self.
What ever belongs to you - you have to worry about. Not “my mother”, “my brother”, “my children”…it is “the mother”, “the brother”, “the children”, “the job”, “the code”, “the sport”…
The body - seeing, tasting, smelling, touching, hearing - is a pain - it sucks. Seeing your first baby coming out of wifes womb, seeing a beautiful sunset, hearing beethovens 5th…what a pain. A better happiness than falling in love - not conditioned by impermanence. Falling in love is suffering…knowing deep in the core - excitements of the mind. kammaloka - 5 sense world - is suffering. A rigged world. One cannot exit this rigger game playing by the rigged games rules.
Western monks say attachment makes you suffer. Just the attachment part, Not what the buddha said. They are suffering.
When they cease it is bliss.
The self is destroyed in a monastery. Following rules. When you have no choice - the self withers and fades away. The doing feeds the illusion of self.
The delusion of self - wants to do things. To move. To show you exist.
Measure your sense of self by doing. The more projects you have - the more you exist. Give up project, doing, controlling - you start to disappear.
Settling the above - it becomes peaceful and blissful.
You don’t get into a jhana by doing it. They are stages of letting go.
Kaya passadi - tranquility of the body. People get scared - their hands dissapear.
What about when the will dissapears?
In a rebirth, maybe one thinks this times I’ll get it right:
- become rich beyond your wildest dreams
- sole partner - the one meant for you in heaven
- elixir of eternal youth
- the body eternal and mind of happiness
The stupidity of all of that - it is not the truth…seen in deep meditation - dhamma
Born in prison. Someone escapes and tells you how. But they reject it and think you are weird - for not delighting in the beautiful prison of babies, families, becoming rich, travelling and doing this and that.
Most people won’t believe you - doesn’t matter - that is their problem.
2004 Rains Retreat (11/11): Please be Kind to Yourself#
The core of a monastic life:
- abandon defilements
- free mind
- liberating insights from meditation
Do it their way - when someone wants you to do work. Don’t do it your way. If you do it your way - you strengthen the inner controller - blocking meditation. Stopping deep states of mind. Letting go.
Letting go of greed, hatred, delusion, the inner controller, the self, the fault finder, the critical and judger.
Develop a mind of peaceful compassion and kindness.
Ill will to the task at hand: having to wait, someone let you down, life letting you down, dissapointment, frustration - allow them to be. Welcome to life. No complaint, no fantacizing. It is not accepting the task at hand. Loving kindness - door of the heart open to the moment. Accept what needs to be done.
Attitude of mind to not do.
Complaining, fault finding is what moves the mind into action - creating business for the mind. Faults, differences of opinion, things we disagree with, finding whats wrong. 99% of the work of the doer.
ACCEPT. Unconditioned - not demanding in nature or meditation.
Accept the slight uncomforts. When breath is fast, slow, anything - accept.
Why the mind goes into samadhi fast, slow or not at all. Nothing to do with you - just causes. Can’t find the causes - so why fight the result.
The buddhist way is not to fight - it is a way of peace.
Are you a fighter - a hero to the world? Or do you not fight - a hero to the dhamma?
If you have always been the controller of your life - I’m not going to let someone tell me what to do. The sense of self. At the time of death - you complain - leading to birth at a lower realm.
Making peace with every moment in meditation and life.
A fault finding mind - adds more negativity to the world.
Disengage from that which creates the world - craving, making, building, doing, wanting, complaining.
The work in the world goes on and on and on. The work inside - getting rid of the doer - can be done.
The conditioning - brought up - to be the great controllers. You are special, you can achieve, you can get there. Instead of going somewhere - stop. absense of the doer - stillness of the mind in the moment.
Be kind to yourself - one is not perfect - everyone makes mistakes…impermanence.
Be kind to the nimitta - don’t grasp onto it - force it where it is. Let it be.
A soft mind - malleable - like pure gold. One cannot be soft when controlling.
2007: Rains Retreat#
2007 (1/11): Understand, Accept and Let It Go#
2007 Rains Retreat (1/11): Understand, Accept and Let It Go
Suffering and discontentment is inherent in samsara. Nibidda - revulsion, turning away, letting go and inclining towards disengagement.
2008: Rains Retreat#
2008: (1/10): The Fixes Senses are Suffering#
Suffering is expecting from the world what it can never give you.
What is expected from the body - no aches, no pains, no itches, relief from cold and heat, freedom from sickness. When you do have an ailment - understand it.
All compounded things - suck. Having senses is suffering - looking, smelling, tasting. It is pain.
See the senses as they truely are - so you can abandon them. Otherwise sitting in meditation you will dream and fantasize about some perfect world.
Craving comes from the dilusion that there is happiness in the senses.
Monks turn away from conversations, from sights (sitting in the darkness of the hut watching the breath), not even listening to too many dhamma talks instead silence.
Allow the body to dissapear.
The outside path always dissapoints. Follow the inner oath instead.
There are few places you are permitted to leave the world - monateries. Put aside the studies, projects, books.
Just sit. Sights, sounds, tastes, smells and physical sensations are suffering.
Nibbida - no longer be intested in them.
Can’t end craving with more craving
2008: (2/10): Walk a lot, Sit a lot#
Give clear instructions to your mind for mediation
Ajahn Dun - received a teaching from Ajahn Mun - “walk a lot, sit a lot”
Recollectwaht happened and why after every meditation
Put effort and set the direction, then be gentle, kind and let go.
Forcing the mind makes more restlessness - more controlling is more agitation.
Meditate to free the mind from harm and suffering.
If you lose the path while meditating, gently bring the mindfulness back to the object.
In meditation your job is to let go of thinking and see what stilness is like. Let go of the world.
There is always something more to do - they never know peace and stillness. Meditation stops the process of the next thing - the assumption of then i will be happy. No - this is where I stop and make my stand.
The 5 khandas - if they did belong to the self - it can be controlled. Can’t tell vadana (feeling) Can’t tell perceptions Can’t tell will Can’t tell consciousness
Set up mindfulness and back off
Movies, music, sex, books - these are just escapes for the restless and bored. For those that know meditation - how can you want more than the bliss of deep meditation,.
Your defilements that cause you pain, embarrassment and trouble - fade away. What people say - will not affect you.
Never allow other people to control your happiness.
All the dhamma talks - are not worth a 16th part of a deep blissful unity of mind.
2008: (3/10): Do not Disturb#
The first rule of the Kor-wat is to be kind and compassionate
Keep it simple at a monastery
“It is not the sound that disturbs you, you disturb the sound” - Ajahn Chah
Noises and the breaking of silence happens - impermanence - samasara.
Thinking of expecting any different is suffering.
People allow life to disturb them. One tries to keep it simple but life is oit of control.
No matter you situation - how simple your life is - still there is criticism, control, getting involved, it is not good enough because samsara sucks. The external is not the problem. It is what is put in between.
Because of ego, self, you think you own your mind - you treat it like a slave
Beating it up, abusing it, ordering it.
If you are kind, gentle and peaceful to your mind - it will do the same for you.
All lust comes as a response from not being happy
2008: (4/10):Not My Kamma#
When there is a self, there are things belonging to a self. When there is no self, there are no things belonging to you.
When there is no self, there is no owner of kamma.
Good karma in the world is like decorating a prison cell. Not busting out of prison.
Human beings collect and collect. If you have done some bad stuff - why can’t you forgive and let it go. When someone has said something bad to you - why can’t we move on.
Collect the good stuff - the eggs not the shit.
People dwell and father in the bad karma.
People come into this life and they pass through. Your children, your brother, sister, father =, mother. You did not invite them in and give them permission to go.
Grief is not natural - it is a culturally added phenomenon. When someone dies - one does not need to have grief.
Abandon all doing - disappear - vanish. Don’t become the great saviour of the world. Mara tried to tempt the buddha.
Baggage of the past - there is no self to own it. Be still. Let go of the karma of the past.
At the moment of death - stop all aspirations. Don’t even try - just stillness.
2008: (5/10): Stopping Suffering#
Every moment of one’s existence should be towards the ending of suffering (discontentment) and realisation of nibbana
Every intention and act of body, speech and mind is for the ending of suffering
One meditates to end suffering (not for the acquisition of something)
Eating and sleeping - not too much not too little - to end suffering.
Some suffering like physical suffering can only be avoided by not being born again
One cannot do anything about other people - they cannot be controlled - how they annoy, have idiosyncracies and how they do it their way. None of your business. It is us that allow suffering to arise. Wanting them to be different.
Do not disturb things around.
There is nothing wrong with being sick, people annoying and the body having pain. That is right tht is the way. The reaction of the mind makes it discontentment.
“Par for the course”
The happiness cannot be found in the community - in the external. Only with the peace inside in seclusion.
Do not take the community or external into your hut with you - in other words the past and the future.
In meditation - remember the happiest and most peaceful moment of your life (after setting down the body)
Every thought and concept in the mind - is a disturbance of the peace. Discontentment.
The dead dog - the buddha said everytime you have a dream, fantasy or train of thought - you put a dead dog around your peaceful mind.
Calm it down by being irresponsible. None of your business - not self, not owned by you, none of your business.
No worries about the future. It is not permanent but in the end it’ll be ok. Wait for it to come and fix it. Leave it alone.
When one does not fear - one does not plan as much.
Untie the knots attaching us to thinking, the past and future.
Don’t be regarded as an expert - then it does not attract those that want to argue.
Being choosy - with many preferences - the path is hard.
Be simple, peaceful, being content, gentle and kind - a mass of suffering starts to dissapear. You have tried to control the world for many years - husband, wife, children, people who work for you, influence boss. That is why one leaves that world.
Monks and nuns are a community of hermits - allow each other to dissapear.
Restrain the senses - restrain suffering. Everyone spits, shits and pisses on the earth - but the earth does not object.
You are involved in the sense world - because you are interested in it (craving and attachment)
Striving comes from a sense of self and ego. Striving to stop - restraint is the correct striving.
2008: (6/10): Refuge in Stillness#
Refuge - where you incline to peace and fulfillment
Close your eyes and go to the refuge inside - the only place with value. With all the attractions in the world…
As much time alone as possible = a community of hermits
Sitting in your room with nothing to do - hour after hour - day after day. It drives some people bonkers - they want to talk. These are the type we ask to leave the monastery because they don’t fit in.
Stay by yourself - face yourself - take refuge inside.
Lessen, not more.
theragatha or therigatha - verses of the elders. The elder monks and nuns that got enlightened and hearing their stories.
Wiwaka - seclusion
- kaya wiwaka - body seclusion
- citta wiwaka - mind seclusion
Draw the senses in - what is the big deal - with seeing these attractions.
Why do people spend money - when it is more comfortable at home.
If your refuge is in material things - after a while you get very dissapointed.
All the CEOs and rich people have just made it - they haven’t gone to the net step of letting it go. They realise the wealth, power and fame is not a true refuge.
The more you seek a refuge in the external world - the more dissapointed one gets.
Things fade away - impermanence.
Finding refuge in studies, fantasies, talking, sleeping and eating. Is that your refuge or just something you need to do from time to time?
Take refuge in calm and letting go - not in attaining.
The moments of great stillness and contentment are much better than the moments of great achievement and great excitement.
Taking refuge in negativity - gives you a quick buzz of power but descend into terrible states.
Few possessions and few mental possessions. Do not take refuge in the past and don’t ta`ke refuge in the future.
Possessing our experiences instead of letting them go.
They think getting fulfillment, happiness and peace externally is possible. How much knowledge do you need How many things do you need - you already have enough How many experiences do you want - haven’t you had enough How many teachers do you need to visit
Instead you realise the true refuge is inside - in stillness.
The controller - the doer - make things happen, get here, want this. Calming the doer is dimishing the identity. Kind and gentle.
Accept it for what it is. Unconditional.
A mindfulness that does not want to change or get something else.
A mind that sees the wanting and negativity is the problem.
The next stage in meditation is not onward - it is inward. Into the moment, into silence, into the breath into nimittas.
Against the stream of craving.
Movement is dukkha. When nothing arises and passes away - peace.
Refuge must be comfortable - a beautiful place, a safe and free place.
2008: (7/10): Just a Step#
Whats more important thean getting things done?
Kindness, compassion, stillness
Accept the world as it is - make peace be gentle and kind. Don’t argue with the world.
Use wisdom power not will power
The source of restlessness is the sense of self - because when you are doing something that is when you exist. When the self makes its identity.
When you don’t do anything - the sense of self (ego) dissapears.
Be passive when meditating. The object is not as important as how you are watching.
Let go of the wanting to get deeper - that is looking in the wrong place. Stay where you are the moment deepens by itself.
Calm the doer. Dissapear. Die.
From stillness - fading away.
WHatever you imagine it to be - it is always something else. Never think you are right, do not rely on your thoughts.
Do something different. Meditate - step across the river - do nothing. Instead of using craving and negativity (going up and down) A completely different direction from what you are used to
2008: (8/10): Get out of the Shit Pit#
Your body is out of your control
If you can’t control your own body - how can you control other people. It is hard enough to control your own speech.
That is life. Samsara. Accept and understand. External suffering.
Don’t let others affect you - your job is to let go. Do not carry the stupid bevahiours and actions of yourself and others around.
It is alright to let it alone.
when you want something - there is a seperation.
if you keep indulging the doer - the wanter - mara…it will never work. Get bored - stay with boredom then.
Forcing goes nowhere. Don’t fight it - say “bring it on mara”
No happiness to be found in the 5 senses. Putting all your hopes on something like that is never as good as it is when fantasized.
Why do we make up fantasies
why read so many books? why dream about a great meal? why go on so many walks?
You can’t attach to jhanas - they are stages of letting go
Just be with what you have
Wanting to get rid of it, putting in effort, cunning enough, smart enough, work really hard and study hard enough - it does not work that way. The more struggle, effort and work - the deeper you go into the pit of shit.
Let go and be still and you emerge from the shit pit.
2008: (9/10): Still the Watcher#
More attention to the present moment
wanting comes from the sense of self
it is not how long you meditate but the attitude brought to meditation
You are searching for the wrong thing in the wrong place - a tortoise with a mustache
Forgetting the purpose of the path is to disappear
All the badges, certificates etc. heavily conditioned - like cubs getting a badge for doing things. It is against the dhamma - it is about tearing the badges off. all the supports for who you think you are, your ego and your being.
Let it happen - it has to be this way…holding on to your self just brings more discontentment
Remove the attitude of judging and measuring your self
dealing with the suffering of life - instead of causing fantasies - rather be with it. Watch it and be stilll.
Don’t try and control the nimitta. Still the watcher then the nimitta will still.
If you can’t let things go - shows you possess and own - making a self out of them. It is great to accept criticism - if there is no ownership anyone can criticise all they want.
The ideas of who you think you are and what other people think of you are usually completely wrong - and impermanent. What do you expect?
It is bliss to let things go. Like the body and possessions.
Your will is not a friend. It is a prison - a thing you thought you owned.
It is good to not have to do things your own way. That is why there are rules.
Stop trying to be an individual - to be different. Vanish. Disappear.
2008: (10/10): Starve the Doer#
Trying to control your will, meditation, body, feelings and emotions. It does not belong to you - it cannot be controlled. They go according to cause and effect. It is out of control.
There are no attainments. There is no x days left. There is only now. Only frustration lives in attainments (sending your mind out).
Keep your mind at home - do not send it into the past or the future. Stay with this moment.
Delusion of self - to choose, to see, to touch, to smell, to hear, to taste or to know - to exist and survive.
The world starts to fade away when you stop sending the mind out.
So often people do not cut off the thing doing the attaching. They just drop the attachment and then switch into some other attachment.
Weaken your sense of self - by not choosing. Make it easier to let go.
Starve the delusion of self.
Don’t stand out - don’t be special.
When there is a sense of self - you want to do things. When you do things- you strengthen the sense of self.
One day you will have to drop the body with the 5 senses…how about you drop it now.
It is a pain having to move - the doer makes one move. the will is not the friend - the choice and decision making - it is suffering.
Weaken the will. One has been told their whole life to develop a strong will.
Mr Big - the one behind the syndicate of suffering. The doer.
2009: Rains Retreat#
2009: (1/10): The Four Iddhipadas#
Beginning of meditation - aspire to:
- let go of past and future
- let go of thinking mind
- be with every breath from beginning to end
- aspire to calm the breath down
then don’t go further…as the deeper you get the more subtle the mind and one should stop aspirations at the beautiful delightful breath
Stop directing the mind - let go of directing. Shut up. Set the goal and allow the mind to do the work. Don’t interrupt and give too many orders.
A skilled meditator may not need any instructions.
Heroic effort to stop and be still.
Lose your will - lose control. Always was out of control.
Willing to die. Have you come here to die?
There is no self - so what are you afraid of losing?
Lets see what happening - investigate. Not try and get something. See what the breathe is like, the body, the nimitta…
instructions:
present moment awareness - please. silence - please. break - please. beautiful breath - please. nimittas - please.
2009: (2/10): Inspired by Anatta#
No matter how much effort - learning become clever, manipulating etc…no satisfaction. It does not belong to you. That is why the effort is fruitless. Ridiculous hopes for the future and frustrations.
Wanting the perfect life. Life is not perfect and it can never be.
The way to go is let go of the wanting and controlling.
The impossibility of achieving ones goals.
People chase happiness and fulfillment but they never reach. The delusion of craving. Mara offering the wonderful gifts,
Try harder Run faster Work more Be smarter/cleverer
You can’t - these things cannot satisfy - as these things belong to nature cause and effect and will not bend to your will.
Freedom from desire - not freedom of desire.
One’s job is not to change the world - it is to make peace with the world.
manipulate, struggle, strive and drive.
Be kind, be at peace with the world.
The expectations have risen by external and oneselves - the stakes are higher - people have to strive more, strengthen the will.
The book - the secret and anthony robbins. Extreme examples of a trend to struggle and strive.
Things breaking and not working - is going right. It is par for the course.
Wanting to be somewher else. Wanting to change. Not being content where you are …is prison. No freedom, no satisfaction, no peace.
No chasing, not having to go anywhere, do anything or be anybody. The pressure to achieve, to go, to get. The dog with mange.
Just sit here - this is good enough. None of my business, will make peace with this.
Do not fight the body or mind. Be with life…be gentle.
Letting go of consciousness.
Disengage and detatch from the thoughts. Don’t fight and don’t create.
Renounce controlling.
2009: (3/10): No Desire#
Going against desires - gives a sense of freedom. Freedom from wanting and not wanting.
Meditation of no desire. Mindful of all desires arising - and once noticed - stop it with the mind.
Free of desire.
Make a distinction between duties and desires.
Wanting more - means you can’t enjoy what you have.
More money, food, huts, knowledge, peace, nimittas, insights…
Patience - another way of saying no desire. Allow the path to develop.
People do not have joy - because they want something more. Wanting a different place, job, girlfriend, better position, more money - stops you enjoying things.
The closer you get to perfection - the more complaints you get. The more you want.
Life is a journey and some people never rest - always going onto the next thing. Always walking - school, job, money, certificates, holidays…always more.
All the activities on holidays - people do not know how to stop. People do not have joy. Always going on to something more.
This moment is good enough.
The longer you stay with the moment - no desire…the more joyful the moment becomes. First few minutes are the tough ones.
Desires are easy to stop at the very beginning. However if they are followed and get into you - they get very string and difficult to resist. Lust, food, wanting can be stopped early…but if it is followed and developed they become difficult to stop.
You don’t have to have the best anything.
Going after things - thinking fulfillment and happiness will be somewhere else. No desire - not looking outside of this moment.
2009: (4/10): The Four Mindfulness Truths#
Getting caught up in thoughts, a muddledmind, subjectivity - is not mindfulness. One is lost.
Objectivity, seeing clearly the realities of life - is mindful.
Perspective.
Stepping back - space between you and the object. Watching the object - not getting immersed in it.
5 hinderances weaken mindfulness: sensory desire, ill will, sloth and torpor, restlessness, doubt.
A woman, food or sunset - one only sees the beauty…not seeing anything else. The woman has bad points, subject to change, same organs and body parts and foul egress. The food will eventually turn to faeces. The sunset is subject to change, will soon be gone.
The more still your mind - the more powerful mindfulness.
You can’t be mindful by willpower - be still.
Lao Tzu - Sunset…no talking. When you speak and say “What a beautiful sunset”…the mind is now on the words and not on the sunset. No longer present. The verbalising mind. No labelling.
The way is the eightfold path:
- view
- intention
- speech
- action
- livelihood
- effort to let go
- mindfulness
- stillness
2009: (5/10): Anicca Vata Sankhara#
Everything that is created and arises - it becomes impermanent…fades away and becomes distateful after time. Creation is celebrated and affirmed in western culture and christians.
To stop creating and doing things - is the happiness.
There is no end - to creativity.
Creativity…no good.
Uncertain, unreliable…anicca.
Seeking happiness in the world of the 5 senses - you are asking fort discontentment.
These things might be gone tomorrow. Don’t put your happiness in these things.
Fullfillment from partner, home, job, family and life. That kind of life will dissapoint you.
Tranquility of sankharas is happiness - it can be relied on.
Nibbida - being fed up - with the 5 senses, of creativity, things and constructs.
Some thinking, fantasizing, dreaming and planning - that some joy and relief can be found there. Reading Harry Potter or Huckleberry Finn. It gives a sense of happiness for a while. Deeper - the creations are happening - creepers nice at first but eventually take down the tree.
Stilling the will - is happiness.
Everyone thinks the will creates happiness - the stronger it is made the happier one becomes. Totally false.
The creator is not god - you created the body and mind. Craving created it.
Dragged by the nose - these 5 senses the desires.
There is no goal or attainment. Being content where one is.
Calm down the thoughts - freedom from them - meditation. Make life more peaceful and more still. Calm down will - get into jhanas. Calm down mind - get into enlightenment.
Only place where there is an ending - a finish.
2009: (6/10):Pay Off your Debt#
Human life is never going to be perfect, never satisfactory, always problems and difficulties - birth is suffering.
It is par for the course.
if there is reslessness - because one has been indulging. Tiredness - because one has been wasting ones energy.
Sensory desire is like taking out a loan - on happiness and energy. A quick boost of happiness that has to be paid back.
Sacrifice some happiness now.
Saying no to your desires - gives one energy.
Ensure the dulness and boredom - it is passed kamma - nothing to do with me. Make peace, be kind and gentle.
Paying off the debts - making peace, being kind, gentle and investigating.
The essence of meditation is not what you are doing - it is how you are doing it. Correct attitude of mind.
Meditating to attain is not correct. Meditate to let go.
Let of greed, hatred and delusion. The thing that does craving, aversion, controller and doer.
Use wisdom - not force.
When joy (mental energy) is not present - wasted in thoughts, fantasies and negativity - it is difficult to meditate.
Make peace by not owning them. Observe and investigate. Not me, not mine, not a self, none of my business. Things that come and go.
Objectivity - seperation. Not engrossed in the experience. The seen is just the seen. The heard is just the heard.
Take away the identification, holding on, attachment and controlling. Let them go.
It takes endurance to pay off the debts of indulgence. Restrain, be paitent, be kind. Keep it simple.
Build up your mental wealth.
2009: (7/10): Care not Cure#
The buddha teaches: suffering and the end of suffering
Suffering: physical, not getting what you want, unexpected things happening, misery, dissapointment, cancer, death
One former soldier asked Ajahn Chah - What kamma did I do to get shot? Ajahn Chah said - the kamma you did was join the army.
What kamma did you do to get cancer, ailments, pains, diabetes? Because you have taken birth as a human being
Par for the course
One wants to blame certain aspects of life - blame oneself or blame others. This is not done in buddhism - one takes responsibility. Accept and face that suffering arises - the truth of suffering.
Samsara sucks - it is not someones fault.
It is not the place, person or you. The suffering is the same - one can just exchange for a different flavour.
Councilling 2 sisters:
- one having issues with the husband (husband suffering)
- one having issues that she was single and could not get a husband (single woman suffering)
You won’t escape suffering.
Poor people who want to be rich win the lottery - change poor people suffering to rich people suffering.
Lay person wanting to become a monk - change lay people suffering for monk suffering.
There are multiple lives of suffering…
The control freaks are all run by fear - fear of suffering and pain…that reaction does not work.
You can’t change the world - running around (samsara - wandering) - trying to control and avoid suffering. Not realising that it is the truth. There is suffering.
Meditation will follow the natural inclination - wandering…the next situation, meditation, place…there will never be happiness there. The Buddha said the way to stop that is stop the craving and wanting - stop the engine.
Going against the stream of craving.
Doctors main purpose is to care not cure.
Your job is to make peace, care, be kind and gentle
2009: (8/10): Chip Pan Suffering#
One is born, not knowing they are in prison.
Thinking gets one nowhere. Fantasies and scenarios. What one thinks is often wrong, turns out to be false, deceiptful and impermanent.
Stand back and get perspective on the thinking mind.
Praise and blame - what does another person know about you - it is hard enough know who you are. With perspective - there is no blame or praise.
A person with no wisdom and who thinks a lot - you get upset whenpeople don’t appreciate you and all the hard work you do and difficulties you have to work through and extra time you spend. That just leads to suffering.
One must have perspecitive and remember it is just sound - just speech being said. Praise and blame.
If you haven’t got perspective - your mind will be shaken up.
Don’t go looking around at other people - it is difficult to know even 2% of what they are about.
Don’t criticise. No fault finding.
A mind of gratitude - stops thinking. Then what? When there a faults there is a lot of business to be done, more things to be done. Gratitude leads to ending - contentment. Stopping and completion.
No matter how much you try get what you want - it never works out.
Trying to please other people is a waste of time - searching for praise and pleasure and avoid blame and pain - can’t be done. Out of control. Impermanent.
Go along with things. Do not add to the suffering - by fighting. Double dukkha.
Fight a battle you can never win. Just be content.
The dhamma is in this moment right now and how one reacts.
You can choose to be negative - think about I. Think it is terrible or think it is incredible. Incredible peace and joy.
a critical way of looking at things - or a gentle, peaceful way.
If you want to be somewhere else - that is suffering. If you are content where you are - in the moment - that is happiness.
Be happy to be here.
Always planning something else.
Supposed to be finishing things, instead of starting things.
This moment is good enough. This breath is good enough.
Understand the moment, not trying to change it.
2009: (9/10): And Then What#
Searching for the tortoise with a mustache - searching their whole lives for some satidfaction, some meaning, some end of suffering which can not be found in this world. A rigged game - the only way to win is to stop playing.
The only thing worthy and fulfilling is the peace in the mind - stilling of thoughts, calmness and kindness inside.
It does not exist in the next thing. It exists in the current moment.
Be where you are. Not in the future.
When you plan - it is a fantasy - one can make it the way one wants - have full control. That is why people love to plan. In real life - the realities of suffering cannot be avoided. real life sucks.
Go in - do not run away. Be with the ache, irritation, pain, weakness and unfitness.
Waiting in the future - instead of where you are. Contentment in the moment. Renounce the craving and fault finding mind.
Freedom is when there is no will left. When you are no longer pushed and pulled.
Develop contentment by not having a fault finding mind.
This is good enough.
There is no person meditating - when one dissapears one meditates.
Do not strive. Let go.
2009: (10/10): Celebrating Endings **#
Nearing the end - one’s mind waay wander to the future - instead of staying in the present moment.
Samsara - endless round of tv shows, romance and seperation, relationships, going to work and knocking off, shopping…
It is not just one life, over many rebirths…
Go to school, Get a job, get married, get divorced, have kids, they mess around and make you crazy…
bachelors, masters, phd, journals, new courses and fields…
Put an end to things. Most people celebrate beginnings - celebrate births and weep at deaths. Baby is always crying and a corpse is always smiling.
Many love starting a new. New retreat, place to stay, new life, new monastery. The stupidity of hope.
Looking for next thing…relationship, job, season of football team…
End your involvement. Disengage.
Endings mean peace. Contentment.
If anyone has an idea to do things - they must do it. To stop doing.
Ending attachment to family.
Freedom of the path - the eightfold path. Right view.
The prison is not in the monastery or on retreat. Freedom from desires - not freedom of desires.
The desires and cravings pull you around - like a water buffalo with a ring through the nose. Desires and cravings are not under your control - they just come up. They are not mine (self) - they are from cause and effect. Cravings are the enemy of freedom.
Giving up things…frees you.
Craving of alcohol, to have sex and be popular…
Making desires stronger leads to more imprisonment
Craving, lust and desire - feels good for a moment but panful afterwards.
Fear and anxiety comes from thinking one will lose something. Something important is being taken away. Possessiveness, thinking of self, the function of a self is to own things.
tough being a monk as you don’t own things - can’t even do what you want.
Dimishes the sense of self.
Keeping precepts weaken the craving and self.
Silence is freedom from thoughts.
2010: Rains Retreat#
2010: (1/11): Evacuate Samsara#
Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta. The middle way.
Dullness arises from indulgence in 5 senses. Restain a bit and gain energy.
The energy expended in the world - looking for satisfaction - wondering whats going on in the world, talking, seeing and feeling. The energy is preserved when one does not do this.
The pleasures of the mind is okay. Let go of the 5 sense pleasures (kamma loka).
If one fully understands the noble truths - one becomes a stream winner.
Dukkha of the will, inside the one who knows. Delusion of thinking there is no dukkha with some condition or situation - not realising that it is everyone and it will always be with you.
Wanting is suffering. Being seperated from what you want. Craving is not just the cause - it is suffering.
Contentment - happy to be where one is.
Some are trying to train the will - make it smater, wiser, sneaker and more compassionate to avoid suffering. They are not willing to let go of the will.
We only attach to things that we think will bring happiness. If the will is seen as a carcass of a dead dog around ones neck - it can easily be abandoned.
We always think - I am the one thinking, knowing - the consciousness. Then you can’t let it go. It has nothing to do with you. Cause and effect.
Evacuate samsara and do not take any personal belongings with you - no body, no will and no consciousness.
These possessions are seen as important - that is what kills you - it is cherished. One cannot let it go - when dying or in meditation.
Waiting in the moment. Waiting for seomthing to happen is waiting in the future. The effort to stop, effort to renounce, be kind and gentle. Say no.
Lose the self.
2010: (2/11): Unbending Khandas#
Sit down and do nothing. There is no one to do anything anyway - you cannot bend things to your will. Hope is just an extension of the will and craving. Nothing which belongs to me. Totally abandon.
No one can argue with silence - stillness. The greatest dhamma is on an empty page.
If there was a self - one could bend the meditation to suit the self. There is no self - therefore you can’t bend it at all. Just cause and effect.
Vanish - let go. Opposite of achievement. Creator, maker, builder, thinker, influencer, deceived, control freak in chief - Mara.
A show with no audience, just an extra.
The next stage is in the middle of where you are now. It will develop by itself - you need not do anything. Stay and be patient in the moment.
Your whole life has been a journey away from home - doing, travelling from place to place, life to life. Someone invites you back home - nothing - disappear. Some cannot handle the work - they have been told to do striving 24/7.
when you don’t own things - you can’t mess them up.
If you can say “no big deal” - it is good as you don’t own it.
“The path is, but no traveller can be seen” - there is no traveller. Your job is not to walk the path - it is to eradicate the traveller - the doer, the will, the choice, hater and creator.
It goes against most things people tell you and teach you to be.
2010: (3/11): Boredom and Restlessness#
Keep to the path.
Give the mind and body a rest, allow it to be bored. Do not use force or will and controlling.
It’s not your fault. Open the door of your heart - having loving kindness to this moment. Be still.
Restless is a result of boredom. One finds it hard to stay with the unpleasant parts of mind - and creates escapes. Into fantasies, activity, talking, indulging in teas and coffees. Sensory pleasures are an escape from the suffering - the underlying dukkha of life. It being unstaisfying.
Do your time with boredom - be kind to dullness. Spend the time and it vanishes.
2010: (4/11): Anapanasati#
The breath is associated with life.
Many think that staying with the breath at all cost would make the meditation get somewhere. Using the willpower to watch the breath for a long time. That makes you tired, tense and stressed. That tension comes out - when you are a control freak.
Not wholesome states.
Instead of controlling - do the perparations. Allow the causes to be created - the foundations.
A comfortable body. Establish mindfulness as a priority (not in front of you). Present moment awareness. Silence.
Trying to bring the mind back on the breath, then it wanders, then bring it back…you are bound to get frustrated. Use the wisdom - you are not ready to watch the breath - the mind is not settled enough. More present moment awareness and silence. Develop the foundations. The mind will automatically be interested in it.
Watch the breath - buddha did not say watch the body at a speicfic place.
Restraining the mind from course objects during the day - sense desires:
- lust
- anger
- desires
- too much talking
Treat your breath with kindness.
Generate delight without fault finding and criticising. Easy going. Uncritical. Forgiving.
If it’s not working - take a few seconds and fake a smile. Psychological joy.
There is more to the breath than going in and out. Begining and end. More to location. It is deeper - just breath.
All the way you have not been in control then people say ok - now I am going to get involved cause this is the fun part. That spoils it all.
Carry on doing nothing.
You eventually must let go of the breath.
Some people get scared.
You don’t do breath meditation - you let the breath meditation develop. A gardener doesn’t make the trees grow - the gardener guards the trees.
Best to have no force, be very gentle.
2010: (5/11): Ultimate Reality#
The past is not to be depended upon - it is not reliable. The future is fantasy and projection - Buddha said in suppurissasutta - whatever you imagine it to be it will be something else.
Whatever you imagine something to be in the future - it will be something different.
THe pleasure of meditation - to countract the sensory desire one yearns for in response to the everyday suffering.
Stand your ground - the middle way - knowing. Mara I know you. Not extremes - aversion or fighting. Just knowing is good enough.
2010: (10/11): Nibbana#
Letting go. Abandoning. Fewer possessions. less Will.
Sometimes we think freedom of choice is the path. But it is freedom from choice that is the path.
Choice is craving, desire, aversion and preferences. These are the chains and handcuffs of the prison. People of the world polish those handcuffs and call them jewelry. They delight in those handcuffs.
The bliss of letting go - or renunciation.
What you thought was you: body, mind, consciousness and ideas. All your best thoughts will disappear. They will not be remembered.
No one wil remember what you did.
Thoughts, plans, dreams and desires - fading away. Completely gone. Isn’t that wonderful.
Seen through the stupidity of existence:
- Craving promising happiness but delivering suffering
- Attachments promosing security but delivering problems
Abandoning the one who does the craving.
You want a body or a mind - then you are reborn.
The arahant is smiling as it dissapears
2012: Rains Retreat#
2012: (2/10): Chanda and Nibbida#
It is a waste of time trying to control pleasure and pain on the 6 senses. More pleasure and less pain. Trying to get rid of aches, getting more comfortable things. How much time is spent on physical and mental feelings - vadena?
It is out of your control. An affliction.
All your life trying to get more pleasure and less pain - and you have not succeeded.
Instead realising it does not belong to you, out of your control.
This body does not belong to you. It is a pain and a burden - a source of dukkha.
Gives rise to Nibbida. Once seen as an irritation - you don’t want anything to do with it. Disapproval. Dissaproval of material stuff.
Understanding that it is an irritation - is you do not spend your time trying to fix things up. Will, desire and trying to make it better.
It is not important to you anymore - it does not take space in your brain and time.
There is no solution to be found in the sense world, no problem them. So you disengage and the problem fades away. Watch the breath. The body fades. The more concerned about the body the harder to meditate.
Bad things said about you, is just sound. You can’t do anything about it. Just like a war in some part of the world. Nothing to do with you.
Sound is an afflication. All the senses are.
Meditation is not in your control. Get “you” out of the way. Not you.
The will - jadena - is an afflication. It is not under your control.
Thoughts - cannot be controlled by the mind. They are not yours.
What to do? Have nibbida.
Nibbida to your thoughts and will. You trusted it all these years - to bring happiness. One has been trusting the wrong thing.
You don’t will the thoughts away. Just have nibbida towards it. That creates the cause for them to dissapear. An afflication is gone.
Consciousness…the knower the one listening is out of control. Sometimes you have good, beautiful consciousness sometimes bad. Sometimes conscious of things rather not to be conscious of. What do you do? You do not buy into the - take away the approval - as your existence, your life, who you are.
Even have nibbida to the blissful states.
See the existence stop.
2012: (3/10): The Fish and Chip Tree#
These are also 3 triple gems - 3 causes for developing the practice:
Sila - Virtue Samadhi - Stillness Panja - Wisdom
Chanting before meditation is used for inspiration. Some people read suttas.
Develop happiness - the glue that lets one focus. Present moment is beautiful. You can’t force it.
Don’t beat yourself up in meditation - trying too hard. Use wisdom power not will power. Remember the favourite moment of meditation. Rejoice in the ability to meditate in calmness and silence.
Cultivate the causes - not the results.
To get the mango, sit under the tree and open your hand - then the mangos fall. Do not shake or climb the tree.
2012: (4/10): Seventy Percent#
Appreciate things over having a fault finding mind
Look at yourself without the fault fining mind - there is nothing wrong with you - you are the same as everyone else.
You never get things perfect…perfect to meditate. Doing things and never stopping. Things to fix up and do.
Incline to gratitude allows things to stop - good enough - vanish. When fault finding you have to do things. Fault finding makes the self stronger. Loving kindness - nothing to do - the self vanishes.
Being content where you are - being here in the present - good enough. Therefore no restlessness, no reason to move and go places - discontent - fault finding stops you being still.